


Similar To Someone's Biting Their Nails, You Know?

by myrowkelow



Series: All That Glitters Is Not Gold [2]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fjord did his own dental work, Fjord is somewhat vain, Fjord needs to control how he looks at all cost, Fjord talks to Jester about his missing tusks, Gen, Jester is the sweetest, Mention of NB character, Mention of Non Binary Mollymauk, Poor attempt at flirting, Quick Mentions of Beauregard and Mollymauk, Roommates having a good ol' talk, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-09
Updated: 2020-01-09
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:00:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22178956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myrowkelow/pseuds/myrowkelow
Summary: Fjord does not have any tusks. At one point, one of his new roommates sees him picking at them and ask questions.
Relationships: Fjord & Jester Lavorre
Series: All That Glitters Is Not Gold [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1592467
Kudos: 28





	Similar To Someone's Biting Their Nails, You Know?

**Author's Note:**

> This revolves heavily on Fjord and his childhood trauma of being the only half-orc in his school and his town. 
> 
> This drabble was inspired by the conversation the Nein had in the 16th episode of the second campaign. 
> 
> Hope you still enjoy it!

Fjord remembers clearly the first time he shaved his tusks down to the gums. He was seven and had just come back from a hellish day at school. Nobody else at school looked like him. They were mostly humans with a few elves and dwarves thrown in the mix. Fjord was the only half-orc, the only one with green skin, the only one with yellow eyes and the only one with tusks. His tusks were barely peeking past his bottom lip, but he had them. They were very obvious and they were hard to miss. Other people could see them.

And other people did see them.

Fjord remembers the flashes of bright white pain exploding behind his closed eyelids as the small kid he was kept on shaving off bit by agonizing bit all of his tusks. He never screamed while he first did his own dental work. However, tears fell freely down his swelling cheeks. He never made a noise while he kept on working against his own nature. The bathroom's sink was filled with a mixture of blood, saliva, snot, and ivory-colored dust.

Shaving off his tusks became a habit. It still hurt like a motherfucker, but it became a pain he got used to enduring. At first, it was every few months, but as Fjord reached his teenage years and his growth spurt, he had to do it every other week to look as human as possible. It was the goal: look as human as possible. But human, he could never be.

The bullies did not care, however, that he lost his tusks after a weekend. They could pick on the green of his skin, on the yellow irises, on the slit-shaped pupils, on his lack of tusks, on how he did not have any parents, on how he did not look like an orc, on how he wasn't human enough... He was never enough or too much of something he shouldn't be.

And so, he left as soon as he could. He sent his application to every university as far away as possible from his shithole of a town. Only one accepted him on the east coast. Fjord applied to the student Loans and Bursary program from the university with a solid case. He had no problems going through the application process and when the money was deposited in his bank account, he took his beat-up truck and drove east. He never looked back.

He immediately liked his roommates. Two of them were tieflings and the third one was a human. On the first few days at the apartment, with no internet, they sat at the kitchen table and spoke for hours to pass the time. They were all new to the area, none of them were locals, all coming to this university to escape and grow as people.

Beauregard, the human with a filthy mouth, had a few bottles of wine that she freely shared with them during their evening talks. Jester, the blue tiefling, was an avid baker and would make tons of cookies and cupcakes to eat when the evening stretched into nights. Mollymauk, the lavender tiefling who used neutral pronouns, would insist on stretching those conversations until the early morning lights. Fjord, him, would just enjoy spending time with these new people and would be the one to initiate the sitdowns.

He felt like he had a community. It was a weird thing to consider for him, but he couldn't get enough of it. For the first time in his life, he felt liked for who he was. Fjord's new roommates never questioned the lack of tusks and never questioned the scars on the right side of his face. Clearly, Mollymauk was the most curious of the bunch, but even they waited and kept quiet.

One night, a few weeks after the beginning of the classes, Fjord was sitting in the shared living room on one of the most uncomfortable couch he'd ever seen, with his laptop balanced on his knees. He was going through some obligatory reading for one of his classes when Jester exited her room with the most exaggerated yawn.

''Ho hello,'' she forced through another yawn.

He hummed back, eyes still fixed on his screen. He could see his roommate from the corner of his eye, walking to the kitchen and then coming back to the living room.

''Watcha doing there, Fjord?'' she ashed nonchalantly. There was no judgment in her voice, just general concern. Weird.

''Readin' fo' class,'' he answered, then, he realized what he was doing as he tasted iron on his tongue. He quickly removed the fingers from his mouth and dried them against his sweatpants. Obviously, she did not care about his studying. He suddenly felt quite exposed as she sat on the couch's arm right next to him.

''Ah. I hm,'' he hesitated, unsure if he felt ready to talk about it. ''It's a bad habit.''

''Is...'' she trailed off, kept her head low, hands folded on her laps. ''Is that why you don't have tusks? Because you pick at them too much?''

Awkwardly, Fjord folded his lower lip above his bottom teeth and grunted noncommittally. He hoped she would drop it and go back to her room to continue doing whatever she was doing. Instead, Jester slid slowly from the arm of the couch so she would squeeze herself right against him and threw her arms around him in an uncomfortable hug. She pressed her face to his shoulder, hugging him so tightly he grunted slightly. He tried to scoot over so she wouldn't be partially sitting on him, but couldn't as she held him in place.

''Do you... Like it better that way?'' Jester's voice was muffled but still nonjudgmental. He appreciated that.

''Can't say that I do,'' he shrugged, letting his head lean against hers, just behind her horn. ''I've been doing for so long,'' he paused. ''Most of the time I don't even notice. Like, same for someone's biting their nails, you know?''

''You would look handsome either way. With or without tusks, you would still be a pretty good looking man. Like a character right out of a romance novel.''

Fjord laughed quietly at the idea of being a romantic lead. The thought was so ridiculous. Still, he appreciated what she was doing.

''Mighty kind of you to say.''

''You're very welcome.'' She hesitated a moment. ''Do you think... Can I see them? Is that alright?'' she asked as she raised her head so she could look at him.

For a moment, Fjord's gaze wandered the rest of the living room, feeling years and years of pain weighing heavy on his heart. He took a deep breath, mumbled a short 'yea sure why not' before taking his lower lip with his thumbs and forefingers and pulled it down.

He never looked at Jester while she inspected the little dented and scratched out tusks. Fjord couldn't hold still more than a few seconds. He felt naked and exposed. Vulnerability never sat well with him.

Jester, she just smiled. A sad little smile that did not reach her eyes. He imagined she was pitying him, because why would she rest a hand on his chest?

''Would you like them to grow back?''

''I hm. I think I like it better when they're gone. I think I look more like myself without them.''

Her smile faltered a bit, before the mask of the cheerful, laughing Jester was put back on. She tapped his chest with her fingers, then laid back to cuddle with him.

''We can stop talking about it for tonight,'' Jester said and Fjord hummed his thanks. ''But, I don't want to leave you alone. Wanna watch a movie?''

Fjord snorted, moving his arm to wrap it around her waist.

''Are you proposing we Netflix and Chill?''

She giggled, maybe hopeful, maybe thinking he was silly.

''We're roommates. Wouldn't it be weird?'' Jester asked, hope in her voice.

Fjord decided to not answer her. Instead, he reached for his laptop, academic reading pushed aside, and opened a new internet tab for Netflix.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed this first official interaction between Fjord and Jester.
> 
> All typos and weird sentences are my faults. Sorry!


End file.
